/*global $ */ var qtext = []; var qname = []; var qurl = []; var ctext = []; var cname = []; qtext[0] = "'The Floral Dance' is one of those instantly grating tunes that welds its way into your synapses simply because it's not welcome there, and it's this tune that defines the very fabric of the Helston Furry Dance."; qname[0] = "Helston"; qurl[0] = "../southwest_england/01a_helston.html"; qtext[1] = "One of the myriad weirdoes at the Youth Hostel had warned me that the weather was about to turn nasty, but I should have known better than to trust someone with such a casual approach to halitosis; the weather turned out to be perfect."; qname[1] = "Penzance to Pengoon Farm"; qurl[1] = "../southwest_england/02_pengoon_farm.html"; qtext[2] = "Instead they totally ignored me, striding along the path and oozing the kind of aura that simply doesn't believe that there are people on this earth who don't like dogs, horses and dungarees."; qname[2] = "Truro to Tregolls Farm"; qurl[2] = "../southwest_england/04_tregolls_farm.html"; qtext[3] = "It was only later that it struck me that I'd just agreed to disappear off with two complete strangers I'd met in a pub to go see a collection of lethal weapons."; qname[3] = "Okehampton"; qurl[3] = "../southwest_england/09a_okehampton.html"; qtext[4] = "This latter bridge was reportedly the inspiration for Simon and Garfunkel's 'Bridge Over Troubled Water', but these days it's more of a bridge under troubled traffic."; qname[4] = "Crediton to Tiverton"; qurl[4] = "../southwest_england/11_tiverton.html"; qtext[5] = "As I wiped the bird shit off my jacket and threw away the remains of my meal, I realised that if you need an answer to the question 'Why do young people turn to drugs?' then you need look no further than Midsomer Norton."; qname[5] = "Street to Midsomer Norton"; qurl[5] = "../southwest_england/14_midsomer_norton.html"; qtext[6] = "In short, some static caravans should be in Homes and Gardens, while some don't bother with the distinction."; qname[6] = "Tewkesbury to Worcester"; qurl[6] = "../the_midlands/21_worcester.html"; qtext[7] = "Despite the promises of endless beer, a curry at 2am and even 'a dirty girl from Sedgley', I stuck to my guns and insisted that I had to go walking in the morning, something I clearly wouldn't manage after a night on the town with this lot."; qname[7] = "Bewdley to Pattingham"; qurl[7] = "../the_midlands/23_pattingham.html"; qtext[8] = "I've never walked so carefully in my life; it was like an ice rink covered in an inch of liquid dung, it smelled like concentrated evil, and my boots decided to pick this moment to lose all grip on the situation."; qname[8] = "Abbots Bromley to Air Cottage"; qurl[8] = "../the_midlands/26_air_cottage.html"; qtext[9] = "Without a doubt the main theme was the guesthouse's No Smoking policy, which cropped up at every single opportunity. In my room I counted five signs pointing out that I wasn't allowed to smoke, and that was without even daring to open the guest's information file, which mentioned it more times that I could be bothered to count."; qname[9] = "Standedge to Hebden"; qurl[9] = "../northern_england/31_hebden_bridge.html"; qtext[10] = "Just as I sat down a huge coach pulled up and disgorged a whole harem of old ladies into the local tea shop, a group of walkers trudged past nodding their hellos, and an entire fleet of tractors grunted through the village; but worse than any of these busy distractions were the chickens of Thwaite."; qname[10] = "Hawes to Keld"; qurl[10] = "../northern_england/36_keld.html"; qtext[11] = "But moors are moors and this one has an added twist to make you feel at home, for the Way skirts along the northern edge of a massive military firing range whose 'Keep Out' signs only add to the happy, welcoming feel that totally fails to pervade the area."; qname[11] = "Langdon Beck to Dufton"; qurl[11] = "../northern_england/40_dufton.html"; qtext[12] = "Those shops that hadn't yet gone out of business were firmly shut and locked up behind impressive steel cages, and the only signs of life shuffled past with the sallow, disaffected complexions of those who do little but worship at the altar of PlayStation."; qname[12] = "Linlithgow to Kilsyth"; qurl[12] = "../southern_scotland/51_kilsyth.html"; qtext[13] = "They really sink their teeth in, and unlike midges and mosquitoes, they don't like to let go; I've brushed many a cleg off my arm only to find that it's still happily attached and drinking my blood. Quite literally, clegs suck."; qname[13] = "Tyndrum to Kings House"; qurl[13] = "../southern_scotland/56_kings_house.html"; qtext[14] = "Much of the castle is ruined now, but the atmosphere is still there, not least because the undulating ground on which it is built provides an endlessly varied series of vantage points from which to view the fortifications. It's one of those castles that appears on biscuit tins, and there's a reason for that; it's beautiful."; qname[14] = "Alltsigh to Drumnadrochit"; qurl[14] = "../northern_scotland/61_drumnadrochit.html"; qtext[15] = "Once she'd calmed down she upheld hundreds of years of dog-owning tradition by telling me that, despite extraordinary evidence to the contrary, the slavering bag of strained muscle and drooling fangs at her feet was actually a big softie and wouldn't hurt a fly."; qname[15] = "Alness to Dornoch"; qurl[15] = "../northern_scotland/65_dornoch.html"; ctext[0] = "Let me congratulate you on your eBook for the LEJOG walk, it is outstanding! I truly enjoyed listening to it! I highly recommend that people read the eBook like a regular book from start to finish, it is a great tale!"; cname[0] = "Peter K"; ctext[1] = "I came across your website by accident (as you do). It's like a good book, you can't put it down."; cname[1] = "Frank W"; ctext[2] = "[I've] been looking for info on the route, daily walking distance, times, etc. etc. Mostly the information I come across is pretty useless, but yours is excellent - it's most certainly the best!! And I've been 'taking copious notes'..."; cname[2] = "Pete S"; ctext[3] = "Your website is great, Mark, and a credit to your obvious thoroughness. I hope you manage to encourage lots of people to undertake this fantastic journey, and if not the 'big walk' then maybe a foray into the countryside. It is a certain cure for a jaded outlook."; cname[3] = "Marilyn S"; ctext[4] = "Superb site – really well presented and laid out, and full of information. A great job!"; cname[4] = "Kevin P"; ctext[5] = "I plan on walking from Lands end to John o'Groats next year and would like to thank you for producing such a comprehensive site."; cname[5] = "Paul N"; ctext[6] = "Your website is so helpful! I have been wanting to walk the journey ever since I was a little girl, it's been a life-long dream... and thanks to you, I know everything there is to know about the walk. Thank you so much for all the helpful info."; cname[6] = "Jennifer"; ctext[7] = "I have found your site to be the most informative of all sites I have come accross, covering most of my concerns, i.e. costs and time scales etc. It sounds like you really did enjoy your adventure and I know we will too. Thank you for the help!"; cname[7] = "Huw J"; ctext[8] = "I got onto your web page by accident and read your entire journey cover to cover in a couple of days. Totally fascinating, very amusing. Your qualities of tenacity, sense of humour and ability to conquer pain are clearly what got you through."; cname[8] = "Howard J"; ctext[9] = "Thanks for a great website. Planning the walk for next year when I retire, and your account has been very useful. Found the content and the way you write very honest. You're spot on about mental application, you might be fit enough to do it, but you've got to want to. Also very impressed by your eBook section, have enjoyed reading about your other walks."; cname[9] = "John T"; // Display comment and quotation function quotes() { var choice, strHTML; choice = Math.floor(Math.random() * ctext.length); strHTML = '

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